Sacrificed Everything
by Hope is an inspiration
Summary: A Collection Of Vampire Diaries Songfics about the main love triangle and all the struggles they face. Told in alternating points of views, it shows the emotional journey all three of them have made. Please Read and Review!
1. Broken Strings

**Broken Strings (A Vampire Diaries songfic)**

_Just a little song fic….I've never wrote a songfic before…so it was new experience. I hope it's good. Read it (nicely please…no one's forcing you to read it)_

Each in different places, three people thought deeply about one another. The Salvatore brothers, one sitting on the dock at the lake house where only a few hours prior he'd been whispering of his love to Elena, and one at the boarding house, sitting on the couch and staring at the fire with a full glass of alcohol-spiked blood. And Elena, still standing in the same spot Stefan had left her at twenty minutes prior. She had not the heart or will to move.

_Let me hold you  
>For the last time<br>It's the last chance to feel again_

Memories of happy times played before Elena's eyes, warning her of all the people she'd be loosing if she really was to die in the sacrifice. And how she knew Stefan would never forgive her for her suicidal need to protect those she loved. She knew she was a martyr, she knew it with every breath she took, with every second that passed.

_But you broke me  
>Now I can't feel anything<em>

Stefan felt as if he couldn't breathe, which was unusual because vampires shouldn't need to breathe. She did that to him. Invoked his humanity. He knew if he lost her, he wouldn't make it. He'd lose all he'd built for himself. He'd lose his emotions willingly, succumb to the monster within.

_When I love you,  
>It's so untrue<br>I can't even convince myself  
>When I'm speaking,<br>It's the voice of someone else_

_Oh it tears me up  
>I try to hold on, but it hurts too much<br>I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay_

Sitting all alone, Damon felt empty. He always lost everything. Even things that weren't his, he lost. And he knew Elena would be the same. And that's what hurt so much. That she would die, it was inevitable. And before that happened, she'd never love him. No one ever loved Damon.

_You can't play on broken strings  
>You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel<br>I can't tell you something that ain't real_

His mind flashed back to what she'd said almost a month ago, "I love Stefan. It's always going to be Stefan."

He stopped trying to figure out why no one loved him, because there was no point to searching, to hoping.

But that didn't mean he was going to stop feeling, to stop loving her. Because if he deleted his emotions, then she'd have no chance against Klaus. And with him and Stefan, they at least gave her that much, a chance.

_Oh the truth hurts  
>And lies worse<br>How can I give anymore  
>When I love you a little less than before<em>

They always lied to her. And it didn't help Elena, it only made her feel angry. Stefan and Damon were always going behind her back, taking action. Did she ask Bonnie to froce the truth out of Luka? No, she didn't. Everyone always knew what was going on. Everyone but her.

And she never lied. Her only lie was about knowing she was going to die. And how was that even a surprise after all that had happened? It made her so angry at Stefan and Damon, for not thinking she could handle things. She knew she wasn't a child. Sjhe could make decisions.

_Oh what are we doing  
>We are turning into dust<br>Playing house in the ruins of us_

Unbeknownst to the triangle, their connecting thread, their strings of emotion connecting them, were dying of, being snipped apart. Love was tearing them away from each other, the pain of it burning their souls.

_Running back through the fire  
>When there's nothing left to save<br>It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late_

Stefan and Damon were determined that they would keep Elena safe, even though Elena, Elijah, and even Klaus knew the truth. Elena was good as dead.

_Oh it tears me up  
>I try to hold on, but it hurts too much<br>I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay_

_You can't play on broken strings_  
><em>You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel<em>  
><em>I can't tell something that ain't real<em>

_Well the truth hurts,_  
><em>And lies worse<em>  
><em>How can I give anymore<em>  
><em>When I love you a little less than before<em>

_But we're running through the fire_  
><em>When there's nothing left to save<em>  
><em>It's like chasing the very last train<em>  
><em>When we both know it's too late (too late)<em>

_You can't play on broken strings_  
><em>You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel<em>  
><em>I cant tell you something that ain't real<em>

The tearing, the snipping, the ripping of the strings made them all seperatly, seretly wish for it to end. For a split second, Stefan wished he'd never met Elena. For a split second, Elena wished both Damon and Stefan had really died back in 1864. And for a split second, Damon wished he'd stayed with the confederacy, and never met Katherine.

The pain of love and sacrifice was too much to bare.

_Well truth hurts,  
>And lies worse<br>How can I give anymore  
>When I lov<em>_e you a little less than before_

_Let me hold you for the last time_  
><em>It's the last chance to feel again<em>


	2. Falling In

**Falling in**

_A tvd songfic…read it…review …. Takes place during 2x15_

"Are you still mad?" Elena asks after Stefan has shut the sliding door and is standing inside the room.

He sighs in frustration,"Yeah, I'm still mad."

"We have a difference of opinion, Stefan; we're not always going to agree on everything."

_Everytime I see your face_

_My heart takes off on a high speed chase_

_Now don't be scared, it's only love_

_Baby, that we're falling in_

"Elena, you've agreed to sacrifice yourself to Klaus. To say that we have a difference of opinion, is the understatement of the century."

"You would know."

As he sees the pain, anguish and anger at his refusal to agree to her plans, he flashes back to all the time's he'd seen pain on her face…a lot recently…

_I can't wait to tomorrow_

_This feeling has swallowed me whole_

_And know that I've lost control_

He remembers her fighting Damon in the tomb, when both him and Damon swore to protect her, when she looked a lot like she does now. Giving up without a back ward glance.

_This heart that I've followed_

_Has left me so hollow_

_That was then, this is now, yeah you have changed everything_

His heart takes him back to standing on the porch, her eyes filled with tears, "I can't blame anyone else anymore, because it's not because you came to town…or because you and I fell in love…that's not why everyone I love is in danger…It's because of me…" He saw the sobs wrenching her body, and he wanted nothing more than to hug her, to keep her safe from any harm. "…Everything is because of me…and I-"

_Everytime I see your face_

_My heart takes off on a high speed chase_

_Now don't be scared, it's only love_

_That we're falling in_

He remembers her efforts when he was struggling with his addiction to human blood. It was only because of her that he didn't die that morning. And if she died, then it would make what she did useless, because then he would have no one to go on for. Nothing to do for the world except live. And that still wouldn't really be _living. _

_I would never do you wrong_

_Or let you down or lead you on_

_Don't look down, it's only love_

_Baby, that we're falling in_

He misses the way she used to be. The happy first moments when their relationship first began. Before she'd found out his secret, she was happy. But ever since, everything became darker. As if finding out that the world was so different than she thought had partially killed her inside.

But then her remembers that she became that way because of him. She changed because they chose to go down the same path. The path of love.

_I'm standing in your driveway_

_It's midnight and I'm sideways_

_To find out if you feel the same_

Suddenly, he backtracked further into memories, onto the day she told him she loved him, on the day he told her she was adopted, and that he loved her, also. And all their happy days since. Kissing her on top of the Ferris wheel, getting to see her smile, hear her laugh.

_Won't be easy, have my doubts too_

_But it's over, without you I'm just lost, incomplete_

_Yeah you feel like home, home to me_

He remembers how lost he felt when she ended things between them. That those two words, "It's over," were like a knife, cutting deeply inside him. He loves her so much, too much.

_Everytime I see your face_

_My heart takes off on a high speed chase_

_Now don't be scared, it's only love_

_That we're falling in_

_I would never do you wrong_

_Or let you down or lead you on_

_Don't look down, it's only love_

_Baby, that we're falling in_

"Elena, we need to talk about this."

"What good is talking, when you and Damon are just going to lie to me. " "If you don't likle the decisions I make, that's fine, there's nothing I can do about that. But if you ever go behind my back again I'll…:"

"You're going to what, hmm? What are you going to do Elena?"

"It's my life!"

"Yeah, exactly. It's your life, and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you live it."

"Then what's this…this…trip through the past? You being there any truth in it? Or where you just distracting me?"

"I was telling you about a time when I thought everything was lost. When I had given up, because that's exactly what your doing right now."

"That is not what I'm-"

"Yes it is. Even if you don't want to admit it! You're giving up! And Lexi, she wouldn't let me give up. I'm not going to let you."

_All those nights I stayed away_

_Thinking of all the ways to make you mine_

_All of those smiles will never fade_

_Never run out of ways to blow my mind_

_Everytime I see your face_

_My heart takes off on a high speed chase_

_Now don't be scared, it's only love_

_That we're falling in_

"You can't choose what to feel. You have to let it all back in. The pain,The look on their faces when you took their life. The cries of their loved ones-"

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Because once you can hurt, you can love. Love, Stefan, that's the point. Everything is intensified when you're a vampire. When we hurt, we really hurt. But when we love…"

Stefan knows how much he loves Elena, and it hurts. To know he can love someone that much, so much it makes his soul go through the grinder each time he thinks about her suicide plans.

_I would never do you wrong_

_Or let you down or lead you on_

_Don't look down, it's only love_

_Baby, that we're falling in_

_Don't be scared, it's only love_

_Baby, that we're falling in_

"Lexi showed me there was another way…And from that day forward, I started fighting for my own survival. That's what I want you to do…I just want you to fight for it." The tears in her eyes cripple him, but he knows she heard him. That she might consider not giving up. And he knows for then it's enough.

The path their going down, with Klaus, and with their relationship, is a painful one. And Stefan knows that. But he also knows one other thing, that it's worth it in the end.


	3. Can't Cry Hard Enough

**Can't Cry Hard Enough (a Vampire Diaries Songfic)**

_Is my prediction (actually not really) of what I think will happen based of the promotional photos for 2x18 of TVD(I wrote this awhile ago). It also contains little snippets of my theory of the sacrifice scene (actually it's just something I think would be sad, not actually what I think will happen. So…Read…Review…)_

Now that Elena Gilbert, AKA the love of Stefan Salvatore's life, was dead, all he had left were the memories. The happy times, the sad times, now everything was precious. 

_I'm gonna live my life  
>Like every day's the last<br>Without a simple goodbye  
>It all goes by so fast<em>

Stefan remembers her clutching his hands the day of the dance, when he once again asked her if she really wanted to go to the dance, with everything that was going on. She simply answered, "That's why I want us to go, that's why we need to go. To be together. To spend as much time together as we can. Because we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.

He'd looked at her worriedly, afraid she was deciding to give up fighting again. She sighed, seeing his expression, "Don't worry, Stefan, I'm not planning on doing anything or going anywhere. But I don't know what will happen in the future. I'm going to try, going to fight as hard as I can, for as long as it takes, to live. But, Stefan, anything could kill me. And a lot of things can kill you. You can't protect me from everything, and I can't protect you from everything. All we can do is live life to the fullest. Enjoy it while it lasts. Because whether you have eternity, or a short time, forever doesn't last forever. Everyone dies eventually."

_And now that you've gone  
>I can't cry hard enough<br>No, I can't cry hard enough  
>For you to hear me now<em>

Both Stefan and Damon sat by the fire in the den, glasses of alchol in their hands. But no matter how much they drank, it wouldn't take the pain away.

Damon was standing in the doorway while they talked that day. He remembered being hurt by them kissing after her speech, and closing the door so he could go get drunk to numb the pain. But what he didn't do, he wished he had done. He wished he had listenend to her words and celebrated with her that they were still alive for the moment.

_Gonna open my eyes  
>And see for the first time<br>I let go of you like  
>A child letting go of his kite<br>_

At her funeral, Stefan tells everyone about when they first met, or when she first officially met him. Outside the boy's restroom, their eyes interlocked. He told of her kindness, her compassion. For every reson he fell in love with her.

And as the coffin is lowered into the ground, and he is left alone; with tears dripping down his face, he is able to let go. Because he knows he will see her again, that she will be waiting for him wherever she is.

_There it goes, up in the sky  
>There it goes, beyond the clouds<br>For no reason why  
>I can't cry hard enough<br>No, I can't cry hard enough  
>For you to hear me now<em>

And then, facing however long that it takes for him to see her again, he sends up to the heavens, where she's bound to be, three simple words, _I love you._

_Gonna look back in vain  
>And see you standing there<br>When all that remains  
>Is an empty chair<em>

Damon remembered the first time he told her he loved her, how she stood there confused afterwards. And then he knows she won't ever remember that. But what she will remember is him kneeling by her after she died, yelling for her to come back, "Oh, god, I love you so much! Nooo! Please, please, noo!" Damon never yelled like that, and he rarely said please. But she was an exception, always an exception.

_And now that you've gone  
>I can't cry hard enough<br>No, I can't cry hard enough  
>For you to hear me now<em>

Both Stefan and Damon had tried to get to her, and failed until it was nearly too late. They'd smashed themselves against the invisible wall the witches had made, watching her blood flow from her body. Like an never ending supply of crimson that would never run out.

Except it did.

_There it goes, up in the sky  
>There it goes, beyond the clouds<br>For no reason why  
>I can't cry hard enough<br>No, I can't cry hard enough  
>For you to hear me now<em>

Hundreds of years later, they'd still remember that day, no matter how much Stefan just wanted it to leave his mind, stay forever soaked into the pages of his diary. Years later, they both would still have nightmares about it.

_And now that you've gone  
>I can't cry hard enough<br>No, I can't cry hard enough  
>For you to hear me now<em>

It wasn't a scary dream, but it terrified them. It terrified them because they weren't able to save her. That they had to say goodbye. That was the worst part of the dreams, to say goodbye. No matter how much each of them had told themselves that they were at peace with it, that they'd let go, it really didn't feel like they had.

At night it came, so vividly. Elena lying there, them finally able to get to her, but nowing it was too late to do anything. Even if they healed her, it couldn't replace the blood she'd lost. And the speel for the sacrifice wouldn't stop until she was dead. It worked that way whether she was fully drained of blood or not.

Both Damon and Stefan held her hands, one at each side. Stefan stroked her cheek as she weakly opened her eyes. "Elena?"

"S-stefan?" She answered, "D-damon…" Tears filled her eyes as she whimpered, "It hurts, I can't see you."

"I know. Shh…it's all going to be okay." Stefan said, so close to tears himself. Stefan took off his leather jacket as Elena shivered and lifter her a little to wrap it around her. He didn't care if it got soaked in blood, or that it probably wouldn't help her. But he had to try what little he could manage.

"No…It's alright, Stefan, you don't have to lie to me, I know I'm going to die…and I'm okay with it."

"Okay with it? How can you be okay with it." Damon yelled, startling everyone. Elena, startled, jumped a little, and then whinced.

"Damon why don't you just…" Stefan started to say, but then trailed off. Damon needed a chance to say goodbye, they all did.

"Stop!" Elena demanded, "Please, just stop." She took a deep breathe, which she choked on. Then she coughed up blood, "I don't have much time…just…just promise me something…that you'll take care of each other. As much as you pretend you can't stand each other, I know better. You're brothers, you love each other."

"I promise." Stefan said.

Damon nodded, "I will."

"Good…good…" Elena's eyes started closing but she mangaged to open them again, much weaker and slower than the first time, "Please…tell everybody I love them, please…and…and I love you guys."

"I love you so much. What am I going to do without you?"

"You'll make it," Elena answed,"You'll wait for me?"

"Of course," He kissed her, "Oh, I love you."

"Is it my turn?" Damon managed to smirk.

Elena's replying laugh was weak and sad, "Goodbye Damon."

Damon leaned in close to her, whispering in her ear,"I love you Elena, nothing will change that."

"Yes," She said," Something will…you'll find somebody, and that will change. You deserve somebody, Damon. Everyone does."

A wave of fatigue swept over the dying girl, and she knew she had less than a minute, "I'm scared." She realized.

"We're right by your side," Stefan said, stroking her hair, "Always."

"Always." She murmured as her eyelids finally closed permantly.


	4. DLZ

**DLZ (a Vampire Diaries Songfic)**

_A songfic about Damon. My first entirely about him. Usually they're about the love triangle or the sacrifice. I like a lot of emotional songs. This one was hard because the lyrics were a little confusing. Oh well, I tried. _

_ P__.S. Every time I hear Elena say that line, "Be the better man, Damon." I wonder what she saying…but hey, I'm still totally Stelena. Stelena 4eva!Not to be rude to Delena fans, because that's what my two bestys are, and so I love the Delena fans and I'm curious about the two of them, but two things: 1. Stefan and Elena have better chemistry (my personal opinion) and 2. And Stefan and Elena will be together at the end of the show (but who knows what will happen in between). Read…Review…_

_Song is DLZ by TV under Radio __.com/watch?v=YhtwjHbPHkM&feature=related_

"What's your name?"

"Jessica."

"Jessica, I have a secret. I have a big one, but I've never said it out loud. I mean, what's the point? It's not gonna change anything, It's not going to make me good…make me adopt a puppy. I can't be what other people want me to be. What she wants me to be. This is who I am, Jessica."

"Are you gonna hurt me?"

"I'm not sure. Because you, my essential crisis. Do I kill you? Do I not kill you?"

"Please, don't."

"But I have to, Jessica. Because I'm not human, and I miss it. More than anything in the world. That is my secret. But there's only so much hurt a man can take."

"Please don't." Jessica was sobbing at him, scared out of her wits.

"Okay…" He said quietly after a moment. And then looking into her eyes, he said. "You're free to go."

She ran, and when she arrived at her car. He followed, and sunk his fangs into her neck. Damon Salvatore had changed his mind.

_Congratulations on the mess you made of things;  
>On trying to reconstruct the air and all that brings.<br>And oxidation is the compromise you own  
>But this is beginning to feel like the dog wants her bones<br>saved  
><em>

Damon always screwed things up, and he hated himself for it. Sometimes, he liked to be a vampire. Because then he didn't have to remember how often he screwed up. How alone he was. But now, that he was choosing to feel everything. It just hurt so much. He wanted to be human. Because although being a vampire was great, at least sometimes, being a human was better.

_You force your fire then you falsify your deeds  
>Your methods dot the disconnect from all your creeds<br>And fortune strives to fill the vacuum that it feeds  
>But this is beginning to feel like the dog's lost her lead<em>

Days passed, and no one questioned Damon on the a small art of him wanted them to. He wanted them to pay a little attention. But all attention was on Elena and the werewolves. And while he was mostly okay with that, a small part of his heart sunk at knowing that no one really cared.

_This is beginning to feel like the long  
>winded blues of the never<br>This is beginning to feel like it's curling up slowly  
>and finding a throat to choke<br>_

Unknown to Damon, Stefan and Elena did care. When they were lying in their beds at night, they were thinking of him. And how they knew he was struggling, whether or not he liked to admit. All three of them were getting torn up about it, but none of them had anything to say about it. It was a silent prey, stalking and killing slowly. 

_This is beginning to feel like the long  
>winded blues of the never<br>Barely controlled locomotive consuming the picture  
>and blowing the crows, the smoke<em>

_This is beginning to feel like the long  
>winded blues of the never<br>Static explosion devoted to crushing the broken  
>and shoving their souls to ghost<em> 

He was broken, but he had no time to think about it. That was the one good thing about having a not-friend person who you unreciprocally in love with. She took up all your attention, protecting her did. That gave Damon minimal time for it all to crush him internally.

_Eternalized. Objectified.  
>You set your sights so high.<br>But this is beginning to feel like  
>the bolt busted loose from the lever<em>

When he came to Mystic Falls, he told himself, and Stefan, that he would have her. But when he had tried to kiss her that day, she's pushed him away, she'd said, "I love Stefan. It's always going to be Stefan."

_Never you mind  
>Death professor<br>Your structure's fine  
>My dust is better<br>Your victim flies so high  
>All to catch a bird's eye view of who's next<em> 

He used to not think, not feel. He came to town to tare it apart, but he knew he'd leave after he'd saved it. How did that make any sense? How did that one reporters words define everything for him. "Love changes us, Damon." She was right.

_Never you mind  
>Death professor.<br>Love is life,  
>My love is better.<br>Eyes could be the diamonds  
>Confused with who's next<em> 

"Promise me, no matter what happens, we'll protect her."

"I promise."

All he couldn't understand was why loved changed him? Why she had that effect over him when no one ever had before? She was all he had, and she didn't even belong to him. 

_Never you mind  
>Death professor.<br>Your shocks are fine,  
>My struts are better.<br>Your fiction flies so high,  
>Y'all could use a doctor<br>Who's sick, who's next?_

He felt hurt when he thought of Jessica. He'd killed her, and he no longer knew why. Because it wasn't because that was him anymore, because it really wasn't him. He didn't kill people anymore. She was the first in a long time. 

_Never you mind  
>Death professor.<br>Electrified, my love is better  
>It's crystallized, so'm I.<br>All could be the diamond  
>Fused with who's next<em>

"My next stop is Elena's." He'd said that, he'd really said that. He could remember when he cared, when he wished Elena was dead.

_This is beginning to feel like the dawn of a loser forever_

"I mean this sincerely. I hope. Elena. dies." He hadn't meant it.

_This is beginning to feel like the dawn of a loser forever_

"I love you Elena. And it's because I love you, that I can't be selfish with you. But you can't know this. I don't deserve you. But my brother does." He kissed her on the forhead. And it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

_This is beginning to feel like the dawn of a loser forever_

She didn't belong to him. She never did and never would. But one day, he knew he'd find her. The one he was meant to be with. To hold through the hard times, to say those three simple words to, "I love you." And know she felt the same way. Everything would be okay, no matter what they'd go through, because they'd be together.


	5. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

_Another songfic, super long, sorry! Hope you enjoy! Read, review …Song is Who I Am Hates Who I've been by relient k. Here's a link: __.com/watch?v=hXVLfHuxCXQ_

_And the vid it's based off of: _

.com/watch?v=VuQtrM_zsAE

_Disclaimer: I do not own the vampire diaries, though I wish I did. That'd be so cool._

Stefan's POV

_I watched the proverbial sunrise __  
><em>_Coming up over the Pacific__  
><em>_And you might think I'm losing my mind __  
><em>_But I will shy away from the specifics _

I threw the stones, so they skipped on the water, skimmed the surface. The sight was beautiful, so why couldn't I just bring myself to smile?

I had so much to think about. No problem got solved because I wanted it to, and no solution was easy. Ever plan, ever path a person takes has consequences. And over the years, I've learned that the hard way. Which is why I'm so careful. Everything has to be executed perfectly. Anything less could mean failure. Could mean death to someone I care about.

_Cause I don't want you to know where I am __  
><em>_Cause then you'll see my heart __  
><em>_In the saddest state it's ever been __  
><em>_This is no place to try and live my life _

I feel empty as I tell Elena of my memories from so long ago."He described you as a monster she said."

I frowned sadly as I talked to her, these things I never really wanted Elena to know, "I was." I paused, looking at the pages for another moment, "I want you to know the truth." Meaning, _I want you to hear it from me. _I didn't know what else to do, and it wasn't like the book wasn't going to tell her exactly what I was going to. Only, it would leave out the real important story. The story of the girl who changed me. No, I did not want to talk about Lexi, but Elena needed to hear it. And so I began, "In the weeks after I became a vampire, I relished in it…"

_Stop right there__  
><em>_That's exactly where I lost it __  
><em>_See that line?__  
><em>_Well, I never should've crossed it __  
><em>_Stop right there__  
><em>_Well, I never should've said that __  
><em>_It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back _

"I took it to the darkest place I could."

I explained to Elena, the girl I love, everything that happened, I left nothing out. Because how could leaving anything out help her? It would only cause harm. To our relationship, just telling her this could tare it apart.

But she need to know how I screwed up, how far in the darkness I was until I found the light.

_I'm sorry for the person I became __  
><em>_I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change __  
><em>_I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again __  
><em>_Cause who I am hates who I've been __  
><em>_Who I am hates who I've been _

Telling some more of my story, reminds me of something only a few months ago. The most recent time I drank human blood.

_A Few Months Ago_

Elena was startled as I appeared behind her. "God…you scared me." She exclaimed in a whisper.

"Sorry," I said, feeling exhausted and sickly. Why was I even here, how could she even help me? I could only think of one thing she could do for me when I was in this state-no! It wasn't an option! It never could be, never! I'd rather die than think I would… "I…I'm sorry that I ran off earlier."

"What happened?" She said, extremely worriedly as she looked at me. I didn't deserve her to look at me in this way. How could she even care about somebody that would think, would fantasize about hurting her? About killing her? She swallowed in fear for me, "Is everything okay?"

I breathed out deeply, and then sighed in defeat, shaking my head, "No."

"Talk to me," She said in eager concern, inching her way closer to me. She looked at me for a moment and then seemed to realize that the door was ajar. She walked quickly over to it and shut it. I sat down on her bed as she walked back over, placing herself worriedly in front of me. "Stefan, tell me."

I shook my head once. "I tried…so hard to keep it together, Tonight. And it was working, it was working. But-but then Matt's mom, she, uhh, got hurt and she was bleeding, and I had her, her blood on my hands."

"And then what happened?"

"And then that, that guy in the parking lot." I gripped my teeth together, "I wanted to feed on him, and it took everything inside of me not to do it."

"But you didn't?" She said anxiously, fearfully. But still, not of me. But for me.

"No, but I wanted to."I put my head in my hands, whispering, "Oh god," and so close to tears. "Elena I, my head is pounding. I-I feel like m-my skin is on, is on. " She reaches up to touch my face, "Fire, I have this hunger that I've, I've never felt," She pulled her hand away, but mostly because she knew I wanted her to. "before in my entire life, and all I keep thinking about is how I promised I'd never keep anything from you, and so I'm telling you this."

"It's okay,"She said, "I need you to tell me these things."

"But I don't want you to see me like this. I don't want you to know that this side of me exists." I was a monster, a hideous, cruel creature of the night.

"Stefan, you're gonna get through this," She said reasuriingly, although it sure as hell did not reassure me, "I'm gonna help you pull through, It's gonna be 're gonna be okay-"

"No-no-no-no." I said as she tried to cup my face. "No-no-no-no-no-no." I said as I got up. She couldn't touch me. Not when I was like this. I could hear the blood running through her veins. And I wanted it so badly, the fight was almost to much. I wanted to give in. "I'm sorry." I shook my head,"I can't, I…I'm afraid of what I could do to you."

She looked at me, as if appalled by my words, as if it was shocking. "I'm not." She walked over to me and cupped my face in her hands as I tried to move my head away. I couldn't look at her. Couldn't look into her big, beautiful brown eyes. I was afraid I'd give in. Either to her, or to the animal inside of me. One would win if I looked at her. And the risk was to much if it was the latter that one. "Stefan," She tried to turn my face to look at her, but I moved it to the side again, "Stefan, I'm not." She turned my head to her and kissed me, gently, unafraid.

"I'm not." She whispered, then she pulled me into a hug. I felt pain, overwhelming emotional pain. Because I was so afraid of hurting her physically, but just as afraid to deny her and hurt her emotionally. Her arms were loving an supporting, so much so that I felt to choice but to hug her back, my right had at the bottom of her neck, holding her to me.

I breathed in her scent, and though it came with pain, it also came with an overwhelming sense, telling me I could make it, that she believed in me. And it was all I really needed. "I love you so much," I whispered, clinging to her.

"I love you too." She whispered back.

_I talked to absolutely no one __  
><em>_Couldn't keep to myself enough __  
><em>_And the things bottled inside __  
><em>_Had finally begun to create so much pressure __  
><em>_That I'd soon blow up__  
><em>_And I heard the reverberating footsteps __  
><em>_Syncing up to the beating of my heart __  
><em>_And I was positive that unless__  
><em>_I got myself together __  
><em>_I would watch me fall apart_

_The Present_

I was at such a low time then, feeling as if no one could understand. Hiding my pain, the overwhelming need to myself, because talking about it wouldn't help. The memories from my beginning stage of being a vampire was so painful, to know what I'd done to all those girls, the soldiers dieing as they fought for something precious. They were doing something. They were fighting, and Lexi taught me that they were what life was all about. That the men battling for their countries represented an even bigger battle. On that's external as well as internal, the battle to survive.

___And I can't let that happen again __  
><em>_Cause then you'll see my heart __  
><em>_In the saddest state it's ever been __  
><em>_This is no place to try and live my life __  
><em>_Stop right there __  
><em>_That's exactly where I lost it __  
><em>_See that line?__  
><em>_I never should've crossed it __  
><em>_Stop right there __  
><em>_I never should've said that __  
><em>_It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back_

_A Few Months Ago_

"You shouldn't be here." I said.

"I know." She said as she completely walked into the room. My senses were clearer than before, and her standing even that far away from me sent my throat on fire, every nerve in my body told me to tell me to attack. She was my prey, I was the predator. Only a small part of me was able to resist that.

I turned to halfway look at her, glancing from the floor, to her concerned and scared face. Again, she was scared for me. "Now you know."

"That wasn't you." She said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Oh, it was absolutely me. A monster, a predator. It's who I am, Elena."

"That's what the blood makes you."

"The blood brings out what's inside of me." I said while pacing. My voice was raised at her, which rarely ever happened. "If you think any differently than you're an idiot." She wasn't understanding, only denying. I couldn't push her away it seemed, she had to decide to leave on her own. To give up on me because I couldn't be saved.

"I know this isn't you Stefan." She looked near tears, as if, at the same time as I was trying to get something through her thick head, she was trying to do the same to mine.

"I wanted to drain." I said, using hand motions to emphasize my point, "Every once of blood from that girl's body."

"No." She said, once again shaking her head. She acted as if she was me, as if she could understand this agony! She never could, and she never would.

"It's who I am, Elena." I half-way yelled.

"No, you can't scare me off."

I satred at her for a second, trying to figure out what she was thinking. "Why would you risk it? Why would you come here?"

"Because I did this, " As if. As if she could make me do anything. Make me hurt people. "This is my fault, I'm the one who made you drink the blood."

"All you did was expose me to who I really am!"

"This isn't you."

"Stop saying that!" I said, knocking over the mini table in fury.

She stared at me, her mouth agape, in disbelief and horror of what she thought she did. "Don't get any closer to me." I warned as she neared. She was too close, and my anger was rising.

"I'm not going to let this happen to you."

"Stop!" I screamed. I couldn't take anymore of this. I was going to loose it any moment.

"Stefan, I'm not going to give up on you, I believe in you."

And then I snapped, leaping to cover the distance between the two of us, roughly yanking one her risk as I slammed her against the wooden wardrobe, hard. All the while yelling, "Stop!"

I hit the wardrobe to the right, by her head. And that's when I noticed, I'd gotten the reaction out of her that I wanted.

Her mouth was hanging wide open, her face a look of being purely frightened. I could feel her shaking and then I felt my body slowly relax as I realized what I'd done. I'd hurt her, I'd slammed her against something. And that's when I felt the pain, the regret, the horror. I let go of her wrists, whispering, "I'm so sorry." Knowing that could never make it right.

"It's okay," She said, as if she was forcing herself to try to act calm and loving, caring. "It's okay."

I rested my head by her shoulder, forcing myself to take deep breaths. I felt the tears running down my face, the sobs enveloping me. "I don't know what's happening to me." I managed.

"It's okay Stefan, shh, shh, shh…It's okay. It's okay." She was trying her best to comfort me, as she took a deep breath, her voice breaking as she said, "You're gonna be okay."

I felt her arm start to go around me and-

Pain thicker, and more vibrant than ever filled me. Vervain, I knew the stinging feeling well.

The world went dark around me.

_Stop right there__  
><em>_That's exactly where I lost it __  
><em>_See that line?__  
><em>_Well, I never should've crossed it __  
><em>_Stop right there__  
><em>_Well, I never should've said that __  
><em>_It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back _

I didn't think as I attacked the girl. Not until a familiar voice sounded from behind me. "Stefan!" It yelled. And I saw her. Elena, running towards me, too close.

"Stefan!" Damon called, pushing her behind him. "C'mon, get control of it. C'mon, c'mon, it's okay. C'mon, fight through it man." I couldn't see strait. The world was a blur as Damon walked towards me. All I saw was her, all I knew was I had become a monster. Noting mattered anymore. Not if I was this way. I threw the figure in front of me away. He was nothing.

"Stefan, stop it!" Elena called, but I was beyond caring, beyond helping…but then I felt the pain. A ringing, exploding pain in my head. It burst throughout, clearing my head.

And then it stopped, and I could see clearly. Elena, her face one of pure horror. Bonnie, looking powerful and mournful, and Damon, attempting to comfort and calm. And how could I face them? After all I'd done…?

So I ran.  
><em>I'm sorry for (Sorry for) the person I became<em>_  
><em>_I'm sorry that (Sorry that) it took so long for me to change __  
><em>_I'm ready to (Ready to) be sure I never become that way again __  
><em>_Cause who I am hates who I've been __  
><em>_Who I am hates who I've been_

_A Few Weeks Ago_

As Damon started to walk away, I did one of the hardest things to do, "Hey,"

He turned back to face me, "What?"

"I'm sorry."

"About what?" _About everything,_ I thought weakily.

"For being the guy who made you turn 145 years ago."

Damon looked around for a moment, as if trying to pick out what words he should say. Finally, he said, "Enough, Stef, It's late, we don't need to rehatch that."

He started to walk away, but I had to… "Oh, you know I've never said it out loud. I guess I just need to say it, and you need to hear it." I breathed out, "I'm sorry. What I did was selfish. I didn't want to be alone."

He turned back to stare at me with a face that clearly read that this discussion was painful for him, "I guess I just needed my brother. "I finished. And then I walked out of the room, feeling as if a large weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, but still feeling immensely guilty, knowing I could have saved my brother so much pain if I hadn't made the irrational decision to turn him.

_  
><em>_Who I am hates who I've been __  
><em>_And who I am will take the second chance You gave me __  
><em>_Who I am hates who I've been __  
><em>_Cause who I've been only ever made me _

_A Few Month's Ago_

"Damon told me the rest of the story, I thought I might find you here."Elena's voice was solemn as she walked up.

I only knew one way to explain my decision, "I should have died that night. Just like I had chosen.I should have let Damon die too."

"But you didn't," She said pleadingly. "And if you die know, it's not going to change what happened."

I shook my head, "Every single person who's been hurt. Every single life that's been lost, is because of me."

She just stared at me, her face unreadable, "The night that my parent's died, she said after a moment, "I blew off family night so that I could go to some party. I ended up getting stranded, and they had to come pick me up…That's why we ended up in the car at wickery bridge, and that's why they died. Our actions are what sets things in motion,but we have to live with that."

I watched her say all that, feeling the hole inside of me become larger. She had to live with all that guilt, never telling anyone. And I felt guilty, for not knowing that she had gone through all of that, and not having her talk to me about the whole accident, when it clearly always seemed to bother her. I nodded, and the shook my head, "I made a choice, Elena. And because of that choice, a lot of people were hurt."

"You also made a choice to stop. To reject the person the blood made you. You made a choice to be good, Stefan."

"No," I couldn't take this," Please, please don't do that-"

"That's the person who jumped into the water to save the family whos car had driven off the bridge."

"Please." I know what she's getting at and I can't take it, "Don't make this all okay-"

"That's the person who saved my life." She interrupted.

"You don't understand, Elena."

"Then tell me," She said.

"It hurts me. It hurt's me, knowing what I've done. And that pain, that pain is with me all the time. And everyday I think that if I just, if I just give myself up to the blood, I can make that pain stop. It would be that easy. And every day I fight I-I'm so terrified that one day I won't want to fight that anymore, Elena, and the next time I hurt somebody," I bit my lip, thinking of all I could do to her, and I know that if I hurt her, I couldn't live with myself. A world without her, especially if I'm the reason why she's no longer alive, would be like a world without the sun," it could be you."

She shook her head, positive about what she was saying. "There will be no next time."

"You don't know that."

"Maybe I don't," she said. I felt so near tears. Her, here, trying to talk me out of this, I had not been expecting. "But what I do know, is that you could take this," She said, holding up my ring, "throw it in the quarry, and let the sun you could take this ring and put it on, and keep fighting."

I shook my head as she put the ring in my open hand. Then she kissed me and said," It's your choice."  
><em><br>__So sorry for (Sorry for) the person I became __  
><em>_So sorry that (Sorry that) it took so long for me to change __  
><em>_I'm ready to (Ready to) be sure I never become that way again __  
><em>_Cause who I am hates who I've been __  
><em>_Who I am hates who I've been_

Elena walked away, leaving me standing there. I'd done so much wrong, and so little good. But she believed in me still. I didn't know why. After all I'd done to her, it didn't make any sense. It was a difficult choice, because to throw it in the quarry would be giving up, and giving up in all Elena meant to me. To throw all I had right now, away.

It was difficult; the bloodlust made it that way. I'd made a good life, and seemingly screwed it up in no time at all. But I had so much to hope for, but so much to give up in too. "Elena," I called, clutching the ring closer to myself. I had to make the decision now. Either say goodbye or walk to her.

I thought, weighing either option, and then I made my decision. I decided to believe in what I could, hope when I could, and dream big. If I wanted to take this on, I could. All It would take would be effort, and love.

I knew now, we could make it through anything, as long as we both wanted to. All moving on, all winning takes is being able to forgive. If I could forgive myself for all I'd done, than I could live with myself. People can forgive you, but it doesn't matter if you don't forgive yourself and grow.

Move on from the past.


	6. Stand In The Rain

_**Stand In the Rain**_

_I wrote this after seeing the last dance, because I couldn't stop thinking about Elena crying over Bonnie. The story seems so relatable, because I know if I was Elena, I'd probably have a similar reaction when it came to the death of a friend. If I was Elena, I'd do the same thing (Except I wouldn't forgive Damon, because what he did was too cruel in my opinion), because it's inevitable to think about losing a friend. I'd gladly, if in her position, sacrifice myself to save my friends._

_I know this is a pretty crappy songfic and it might be confusing and the tenses mixed, but I tried. It was hard to get everything I wanted to say across. Song is __Stand in the Rain__ by Superchick. I think that this is a really relatable song, and it nearly brought tears to my eyes a few times, because I feel like the the girl the lyrics describe all the time. __.com/watch?v=aZkd91HXng4_

_The video it's not based off of, but that gave me the idea for one solely focused on Elena and her pain, because I feel that this moment of the season had to be used: __.com/watch?v=ZFH0E5qjKhQ_

_It's kind of funny. Because now I've done one solely focused on Damon, Stefan, and Elena. Who should I do next? Katherine, John, Jenna, Bonnie, Caroline, or Jeremy?Message me, and tell me what you'd like. _

_So this in dedication to all my real life (non internet) friends, because I don't know what I'd do without all you guys. I may not show how much I care about you when I get mad about stupid things, or obsess over TVD or something else silly like that, but I really do love you guys with all of my heart. You guys are part of my family, and I don't think anything could change that._

_So read, and tell me what you think._

You never expect it, to see your best friend. Broken, dead. Lying on the floor of the cafeteria, looking as if she was a doll to be used in a puppet show, held up by strings. It tears at you, each breath seems impossible, but somehow you manage each aching breath.

_She never slows down.__  
><em>_She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down_

Stefan hands me the mug, and I cling to it tightly, afraid that if my grips any looser it will crash to the ground. I see Stefan, but I still see her. Her eyes right before she collapsed, begging for forgiveness. And then her dead body as the door opened and we ran in, knowing that there was no hope left.

And it is all my fault. That truth hits me like a wave, cripples me so that if I wasn't sitting in a chair, I surely would have fallen. "This is my fault." I cry, unable to take a sip of the drink Stefan's been trying to coax me into drinking.

_She won't turn around__  
><em>_The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down_

"No, no, no, no." Stefan says quietly, "Hey, this was Klaus. Listen to me, Klaus did this."

Klaus, had felt unreal. But he came. And like Rose had said, he's not a fairy tale. He's a vicious killer with no intention other than to destroy the doppelganger and everyone she cares about. But that didn't make it his fault. It makes it mine. Because I did this. My selfish action to deside to fight did this. I could have changed things, but instead I chose to be cowardly, to not face down what was my fault.

_So stand in the rain__  
><em>_Stand your ground__  
><em>_Stand up when it's all crashing down__  
><em>_You stand through the pain__  
><em>_You won't drown__  
><em>_And one day, what's lost can be found__  
><em>_You stand in the rain_

Even after I found out that Bonnie was alive, I still had the same decision, same thought in mind. And that is that this wouldn't happen again. I'd make sure of it. Because next time it could be real and not a fake out.

That's all I'm thinking when I climb down to the basement and go into the vervain cellar. No one else can die because of me. And if that means releasing Elijah into the world once again, than so be it. If I had him on my side, then we wouldn't even need the sacrifice. We'd make sure to get him off guard, and then I'd stab him. Just like Elijah.

_She won't make a sound__  
><em>_Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down__  
><em>_She wants to be found__  
><em>_The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down._

And if this fight I'm fighting is one no one else agrees with. Then so be it. The less people involved in this mess, the better. It might mean I'm forever alone, but it's worth it if it means saving everybody.

_So stand in the rain__  
><em>_Stand your ground__  
><em>_Stand up when it's all crashing down__  
><em>_You stand through the pain__  
><em>_You won't drown__  
><em>_And one day, what's lost can be found__  
><em>_You stand in the rain_

I would fight, heck I am fighting. For every day, every breath I take. Since I met Stefan and Damon, each breath, each second, is a miracle.

And sometimes, no matter how much I love Stefan, and care about Damon as if he's my brother, I regret it. I regret every second I spent with the Salvatore brothers. Back when I was in a constant tragedy, and I thanked Stefan's arrival, because it made me feel happy, whole again.

Not anymore. The tragedy is all I know now, and deep in me, deep inside my very heart, I know that I wasn't meant to feel happy. That being with vampires is supposed to be scary, not happy and good. 

_So stand in the rain__  
><em>_Stand your ground__  
><em>_Stand up when it's all crashing down__  
><em>_Stand through the pain__  
><em>_You won't drown__  
><em>_And one day, what's lost can be found_

They try to understand, but they don', when she died, didn't give up her life to save Stefan. But Bonnie did. Or at least that's what they let me think. They don't understand that I don't want this. That I don't want to know that I let everyone die for me, when I could have stopped it. 

_So stand in the rain__  
><em>_Stand your ground__  
><em>_Stand up when it's all crashing down__  
><em>_You stand through the pain__  
><em>_You won't drown__  
><em>_And one day, whats lost can be found__  
><em>_You stand in the rain_

Stefan says I haven't lived. I say I have. I've seen more in this last year than I ever expected to see in my whole lifetime. A hell of a lot more than I wanted to experience. So to me, what I'm doing isn't giving anything up.

It's not giving up trying. Because I'm fighting, just not with them. This is my battle. Personal, individual. It's not their war to fight, no matter how much they may think it is.

My destiny's not set in stone. Because I know I could survive and let everyone I care about die. But how is that living? If I die trying to kill Klaus, than it's worth it. Because then he can't be free to wreck havoc on my loved ones.


	7. Get Up, Get Up, Get Up

**Get Up, Get Up, Get Up **

_ I always knew I would write a songfic for the Sacrifice episode (2x21 The Sun Also Rises) since I saw it. It was just such an intense episode, with no dull moments (except between Caroline, Tyler, and Matt…I didn't really care about them… but hey, you have your own opinions, so I hope as long as I don't take offence at your opinions, you won't take offence at mine)…I wanted it to be focused a lot on John, because I liked his character so much… but I'll write another for him I guess…In his own way, he was always doing his best to protect his daughter, so he was a good character and I liked him. This fanfic is devoted to Jenna, for we will always miss her. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries, although if I did, the season finale would be a lot different. I don't think Elena and Damon had any chemistry (please don't get mad at me, this is my opinion, and I'm just ranting), that she was just kissing him goodbye, that it got royally blown up in her face when Katherine came in with a cure. A message to my friend who's never on fanfiction so I don't know why I'm putting this, maybe because she made me mad today for multiple reasons, Elena did not tell Damon she loved him, only that she liked him. Basically that she cared about him (something we already knew). I think she thinks of him as a brother more than anything. She was just trying to have him die with little to no regrets, and not have to live with the fact that no girl really has loved him (except for the fangirls….! But Damon's character anyway…not just the hot looks courtesy of Ian Somerhalder)…_

_Anyway's Julie Plec (the executive producer of TVD) said this:__  
>Elena, as we know, is one of the most compassionate people on the show — if not <em>_the__ most compassionate. It's her own Achilles' heel, how much she cares about others. So the extent to which she cares about certain people is always going to be a struggle for her. In that moment, Damon needed her forgiveness and her love, and she needed to give it to him. It was very pure for her. There's a lot that happened in that moment, and season 3 is gonna be about exploring what it means to her, what it means to Damon, and certainly what it means to the Damon-Elena-Stefan relationship._

_ In my opinion I think it will always be Stelena, and I don't think Stefan will be gone for long because the show is all about this love triangle, and you can't have a love triangle if one part of it is MIA. And my message to Stefan: Come back! I love you! You need to be with Elena! _

_ And Katherine is a B#%H. That's all I'm going to say. And don't hate people, I'm just venting my feelings. I respect you're opinions and feelings._

_ Anyway the song is Get Up, Get Up, Get Up by Barcelona. Here's a link:__.com/watch?v=OkTwjTievbk_

_And here's the video that gave me the idea for using this song:_

_.com/watch?v=UxD0zIOAToA_

_And By the Way __Review please__…well that and read this and my other songfics_.

_Five days after black and red collide  
>the motion sickness passed<em>

The death of John and Jenna brought a thick depression over the group, much thicker than it had been before. A wall was built over every person, blocking them from the pain of anyone else. It was to much, especially for Jeremy and Elena, who had lost every parent or parental figure they had ever had.

Elena had never felt so alone.

Memories of that night, haunted her, and she relived them every night in her dreams whether she wanted to or not. But she learned to handle them with time, to shrug them off, tell the brothers that nothing was wrong, that she'd heard something in the night that caused her to jump. That she was a light sleeper.

_I'll be the first to stand  
>behind that weathered door<br>I thought it would be safest_

"If you come back as a vampire, I'll stake you myself." Damon had said, clutching Elena in his arms and whispering, "So don't…because I can't stand the idea of you hating me forever." He knew very well there would be a day, sooner than he wanted, than any of them would want if they knew about it, that he would die. And despite him being upset about the idea of leaving her when she'd already lost so much, he'd accepted it. Because accepting the fact made him stronger than struggling with it. It made him able to help her until he wasn't able to any longer. To help her understand what wasn't understandable.

_My head is dizzy now  
>I thought we'd overcome<br>we might not make it home tonight  
><em>

That night, they'd been so afraid, all there lives seemed to be on the line. And there was nothing to stop the sacrifice from happening, it was to late for that. They watched it play out, knowing that someone wasn't going to be alive when the sun rose. And praying that the night would last forever, so they'd never have to see that person go. Silently hoping it would be their own fate to never see the sun again, instead of those they loved.

_Crawling on the ash, she's pitiful  
>she's lost her sense of light<em>

"Jenna, I'm not going to let that happen, I don't care what I have to do." In the end it didn't matter, in the end, Elena had to speak the words that she never wanted to, to accept the fact that her Aunt would not be around to see the sun another day. That all her aunt would ever see would be the darkness, and the death that it brought, "Just turn it off. Jenna, turn it off. You won't be scared anymore."

Elena had never felt so alone.

Memories of that night, haunted her, and she relived them every night in her dreams whether she wanted to or not. But she learned to handle them with time, to shrug them off, tell the brothers that nothing was wrong, that she'd heard something in the night that caused her to jump. That she was a light sleeper.

But they knew she was lying.

_She has to hold my hand  
>had I known we might be<br>two kids without their jackets  
><em>

But although they knew she was lying, they didn't say anything about it, because they were haunted by the sacrifice ritual, also, or at least Stefan was. Everything he'd seen had been worse that anything he'd ever experienced.

"I need to do something, this can't happen. None of it."He'd heard Elena say as she paced the small length of the ring she was trapped in. And for one small moment,even though he knew there wasn't a possibility for him to trade places with her (although he would in a hearbeat if it was possible) he regretted the fact that he wasn't there to save her. But he was there to save the life of one of the people closest to her. An innocent, caught up in the ordeal, all because he'd come to town. And so what he was doing was the second best thing in his opinion.

"Quite the predicament. You know, it's funny all this talk about preserving family, Here's Stefan. Granting your wish." Klaus said evilly. Stefan resented the fact that he'd left Elena alone for even a moment with this cruel man who gave no thought to ending any life but his own.

"Stefan." Elena said to him, scared out of her mind for him, willing him to go away, so she wouldn't have to watch him die, too. Because she knew that she wasn't getting out of here alive, and that Jenna most likely wasn't either. Because there had to be a reason Klaus chose her to sacrifice instead of the dozen other vampires in Mystic Falls.

Stefan nodded, "It's okay." He was content with his decision, and he wasn't about to back down.

"Well, who's it going to be, Elena?"

She looked shocked that he'd ask her to make such an impossible decision, because it was impossible to choose between two people you love so dearly. She had no answer for him, and she knew she never would." No."

"Well don't worry, it's actually no choice."Elijah said as he stabbed Stefan in the back with a stake.

"No, Stefan! No!" Elena screamed, scared for him, for all of them because she knew they were doomed.

"I have other plans for your boyfriend. I want him alive." That sent relief through Elena, even though at the same time she met the climax of her fear, realizing that nothing would be able to save her aunt.

_My fear would come alive  
>I wouldn't love her now<br>she might not make home tonight_

Stefan had woken up, pain coursing through him as he tried to move.

Elena had been the first thing he had saw, her face, broken, tears running down her face. Jenna's ring of fire was gone, too, he noticed. And that meant that the reason she was crying was not because he himself was about to die in the sacrifice, but because someone had already died in the sacrifice. Jenna. He turned his head and saw the body, which looked like concrete, with prominent veins running throughout, and with a tear flowing from her closed eyelid. "No." He whispered, not wanting it to be true. Wishing that he was the one who was dead, instead of Jenna.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered to Elena, who looked so broken as she sat in the middle of the last remaining circle of fire. She put her finger over her mouth, signaling for him to be quiet as she murmured , "Shh…" and then "Are they going to kill him?" And in that moment he saw a mixture of sorrow and furious anger towards Klaus written on Elena's face . A wishing, hoping for his death. A hope for vengeance he had never once seen in Elena's eyes.

"Yes." He whispered back, wanting the same thing she did .Because what Klaus did meant that he needed to pay the highest price possible.

Stefan was distracted by Elena. So much that he didn't notice that Klaus was walking towards them until Elena's eyes shifted away from Stefan. Then he saw her look towards Klaus, who was walking towards them casually, strolling. As if he did that everyday. Ends hope, lives, ends everyone.

Stefan struggled to get up, pain coursing throughout his entire body. With his injury, he knew that he would be happy to lie there and never again have to move, because that would hurt less than getting up. Because getting up required moving, which was something the stake wedged in his spine did not want to let him do.

He stopped struggling for a moment, watching what was going on around him, even though he knew with every piece of his being what was about to happen. "It's time." Klaus said to Elena, the fire making a ring around her fading, and then completely disappearing, as if had never before been.

Elena, on her knees in the middle of the ring of ashes, looked so helpless, so full of disbelief at what was about to she wasn't helpless, or maybe she was. Because there was nothing she could do to stop what was about to happen. Just as there had never been something she could do. One day, she knew from the bottom of her heart, that a doppelganger would die. So if not her, than who? No one else deserved her life. In fact, she never had done anything to deserve such as the horrors she had seen.

Stefan watched as Elena started to walk away from Klaus, not looking behind her. Being brave, perhaps, to not look at your enemy in fright. Or perhaps it was an attempt to shield herself from seeing her boyfriends saddened face at her death. To not see that someone cared. To make it easier on herself. Nevertheless, Stefan knew he couldn't give up, couldn't watch this play out without trying to stop it. But it was a mute point, his body would not budge off the ground.

Then, after Elena's made it to where Jenna's body is, Stefan can barely look away from her face. At the mixture of sadness, grief, and disgust toward the man who had taken her aunt away from her. A man that was standing right behind her.

That man, Klaus, took her chin in his hand gently, carefully, as if she would break if he didn't. Sadness is in his eyes as he talks to her, "Thank you, Elena."

Elena, who had been avoiding looking at Klaus, struggling weakly, because she knew it was useless, finally looked him hard in the eyes. "Go to hell." Her tone so hard and empty that it shocked Stefan. Because he couldn't stand to see her looking like that. So hurt, so vicious. And he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms, and make it all okay. Even though he knew nothing would ever truly be okay ever again.

As Klaus leaned closer to her, making sure all hair was off the right side of her neck, Stefan found energy within himself. He pulled himself into more than half a push up stance, and then fell. The energy his love for her gave him was not enough. Because it wasn't the physical pain that crippled him. It was the inability for his mind to cooperate with his body.

And as he collapsed to the ground, his eyes didn't leave the scene before him. He watched as Klaus bit Elena, watched her content, sad face as she faced death. Heard her gasp, saw her mouth open as she is filled with the pain of blood being drained from her body. Saw her finally look at Stefan, as her mind screamed at him, don't watch! She didn't want him to see this, couldn't bare to see the look on his face.

"No…" He whispered as he watched the energy fade from her once lively body. Elena felt lightheaded and a sudden heavy exhaustion, as she realized that it didn't hurt anymore. She was in a tired numbness.

Stefan watched her eyes blink, and then flutter, as if she couldn't hold on anymore. His mind screamed _nooo!_ to her, but out of his moving lips came nothing. And then, Klaus let go of her, blood running from his mouth, his eyes filled with absolute power as Elena fell to the ground. Her body was limp, as if she was nothing more than a rag doll. As if she had never once been anything more.

_get up… get up… get up… get up…_

_I need you…_

He felt as if there was so much they hadn't done, that they needed to do. That she needed to grow up. That if he could turn back time to when he first met her, he would run away. Because nothing, nothing, was worse than loosing her. And he was so afraid that when she did turn into a vampire, that for some reason, he would loose her. His mind begged for the night to be taken back, for her to open her eyes and walk over to him. To tell him she was fine. Yet she didn't move.

_get up… get up… get up… get up…_

At the funeral the next day, Alaric ddin't know what to feel. He'd seen Jenna's body earlier, and couldn't believe it. His mind couldn't wrap around the fact that everything could change so suddenly, and that her eternity as a vampire, hadn't lasted more than a few hours. And all he could think was, wasn't he supposed to get more time with her? And, why couldn't she have lived as a vampire? He still would have loved her, cared for her.

It didn't hit him until he lied the rose on the unmarked grave where she lay, that she was truly gone. And then he did the only think he could do...He headed to the bar to get drunk.

_get up… get up… get up… get up…_

As memories haunted them, plagued them, secretly they wished they could take back everything and make it right. Sacrifice there own life, because the other person was to dear to them to let go. But it didn't matter what they wished, because they couldn't take back time. And that person would still be gone when they woke up in the morning.

They could only be happy for the girl they still had, who had died but came back because of the sacrifices of those she loved. They knew things would never be the same, that it was a drastic change. But after all the sorrow, they still had one thing to be slightly happy about.

That despite all the thoughts of doubt that they'd survive, that Elena would survive, they had made it. They made it through hell and back, because they worked together through the pain and the doubt, the arguing and tension.

And the little strand of hope, they knew would carry them through the dark times, until they were strong enough to get up and emerge from the darkness.

_**R.I.P. Jenna Sommers**_


End file.
